He is a historical figure. Like Jesus.
Merlin helped him with everything, even with his conception, apparently (Merlin used
Polyjuice Potion ”drugs” [his word, not mine] to disguise Arthur’s father Uther as the husband of Lady Igerna, but then her husband died in battle anyway and they were all like, “Remember that time I used a potion as a date rape drug to impregnate you with the “most valiant of kings?” Remember that? God, I love you, honey.”)
Merlin’s a badass in his own right who got two dragons to stop fighting underneath the earth, apparently erected Stonehenge, is half-fairy, was imprisoned in a tree by a sorceress named Nimeve, and this post is about Arthur, I just remembered.
He was given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake. Monty Python and the Holy Grail tells me “strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government.”
No, wait, he pulled Excalibur out of the stone, hence that delightful Disney movie where, despite the title, we’re supposed to be surprised that the scrawny squire “Artie” who hangs out with Archimedes the owl and Merlin is Arthur.
He was voiced by an over-acting Justin Timberlake in Shrek 3. (He was also called “Artie” in that movie. Seriously, Hollywood? Who do you think you’re fooling?)
He accidentally impregnated his half sister because #YOLO, and she gave birth to Modred who was prophesied to kill him and did eventually end up killing him … because #YOLO even if you’re Arthur.
Morgan le Fay has something to do with the story other than being Amy Brown’s bread and butter.
Sir Mix-A-Lot was not one of his knights of the Round Table. Which is a shame, because he is a truthful man. He likes big butts, and he cannot lie.
Camelot is “a silly place.”
That sonuvabitch knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
Last semester I did a “Thoughts on my classes” post here
and nothing else. This is my first day of classes and I am in the library stuffing a blueberry muffin into my face to count as “lunch” so here goes:
I had this professor last semester. This is how I feel going into the class:
I kid, I kid. But I do really want to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. You know, FOR SCIENCE.
Contemporary Art History
I’m taking this for my minor, Visual Art. And just today I learned more about Jackson Pollock than most people will in their lifetimes. Then again, it was near lunch and I found myself thinking:
“This* looks like some sort of tomato, cheese, spinach and squash casserole.”
“And this** looks like a blueberry/cherry cobbler with lemon zest.”
I don’t really have anything against contemporary art, I was just hungry.
Although I have to visit a couple of museums in the semester and I anticipate this happening
*”Eyes in the Heat”, 1946
**”Shimmering Substance,” 1946
Update 4:30: came back from Creative Writing class. Is it inappropriate to tell your classmate that he looks exactly like your mental image of Peeta Mellark?
I thought so.
Update 8/30 3:50
Shakespeare class was interesting. Our class Skypes with another Shakespeare class at a different campus, so most of the time was spent watching the other class’s British professor rant silently and wave his arms around trying to get audio to work on his end.
“Then how do you know he was British?” you are probably not asking.
We have ways of knowing.
Actually, our professor told us.
We did an icebreaker where a student would go up to the front of the class and introduce him/her self and then a student from the other class would introduce him or her self. Couple that with faulty technology and you have a lot of students standing in the front of not one but two classes of strangers looking like this:
And a good time was had by all.
But I’m just really glad that my Royal Shakespeare Company “Team Capulet” shirt did not go unnoticed.
And there was much rejoicing.
I was going to post this LAST Wednesday, but SOPA happened. So I dedicated that allotted ”waste time on the Internet” time to, you know, saving the Internet. This time around I both wrote AND called my senators. Which at the very end of the day meant I got twice as many automated e-mails from my state’s senators. Heck, they were still coming in on Monday.
But I digress.
Here are my thoughts on my classes this semester. And after
clicking through Harry Potter and Disney blogs much research, I have learned that funny GIFs and images make everything better. So, have some.
I only really had one resolution for 2012: Get more into technology. Job hunting last semester taught me that employers are looking for social media prowess, and so I dusted off some ancient social networking accounts, namely Twitter and YouTube, that I intend to keep up.
More “resolutions” after the jump.
By Jane Austen. Certainly not her best book, but it’s still witty. And the mere mention of the author’s name is why there was a 4:1 female to male ratio in my Early English Novel class.
Seriously, most guys would rather get their backs waxed than be forced to read a Jane Austen novel. At least the waxing is quick. But Northanger Abbey is shorter than, say, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, or Emma, and the typical Austen love story is actually kind of put on the back burner. For this post I’m going to juxtapose my opinion of the book with my boyfriend’s. (He read it freshman year, I practically just finished reading it, and I’m a junior.) Does he know that I’m doing this? NO! That’s what makes it fun. :)
When my boyfriend learned that I was reading Northanger Abbey, he visibly cringed. He had read it in Freshman Writing and, having a Y chromosome and identifying as heterosexual, he hated it. He said that I should skip reading it and just say that the point of it was that it was “the defense of novels.”
Yes, and … ?
By Henry Fielding. This will be a wee bit shorter than my other blog posts because Tom Jones is LOOOONNNNG and I’m on kind of a time crunch. It’s upwards of about 900 pages total, at least in my 2001 Oxford World’s Classics copy. So I won’t blog the plot, because Tom Jones has Sparknotes and a 1961 movie that won the Best Picture Academy Award and is pretty congruent with the plot. So, no plot in this post.